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Submitted on
April 9, 2009
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indoors,i'm paling bonfires and verbing the nouns and
death is a metaphor.the room sighs with the afternoon
grief,the morning grief, the early summer grief saddling
nightfall. the grains in your coffeejar are a thousand
condensed nightmares imitating mine.the room sighs as

love is just a metaphor. in photographs,the eyes grow closer ,
but lighter with the loss of regard. your hands probing through
my ribs find filthy similes eating at a faint throb.the throb,
the paling bonfire, the room with no doormats, no sky,
just blood and disease- affect lunging into attempts to
hide.inside,warming up for spite, expecting
crisis in the hub,i lay out trump defenses- failing, failing,

falling.
i dont know, i feel like i cantwriteanymore. :/
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:iconvespera:
vespera May 27, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I like it, but I'd love to clean up your punctuation ;)
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:iconweevilgirl:
weevilgirl May 27, 2009  Student General Artist
pointouteverythingplis i dont know shit about punctuation.
Reply
:iconvespera:
vespera May 27, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
indoors, i'm paling bonfires and verbing the nouns and death is a metaphor. the room sighs with the afternoon grief,the morning grief, the early summer grief saddling nightfall. the grains in your coffee jar are a thousand condensed nightmares imitating mine. the room sighs as love is just a metaphor. in photographs, the eyes grow closer, but lighter with the loss of regard. your hands probing through my ribs find filthy similes eating at a faint throb. the throb, the paling bonfire, the room with no doormats, no sky, just blood and disease- affect lunging into attempts to
hide. inside, warming up for spite, expecting
crisis in the hub, i lay out trump defenses- failing, failing,

falling.
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
you can definitely still write.

the first stanza is especially great.
Reply
:iconweevilgirl:
weevilgirl May 17, 2009  Student General Artist
:heart:
Reply
:icondesigned-devil:
designed-devil Apr 28, 2009  Professional Filmographer
I think I would rather listen to you say this than read it. the pattern is that of a conversation in ones mind. something about it that makes me want to listen to this and not read it. :)
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:iconminchkin77:
Very different.
Very awesome :D
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:iconweevilgirl:
weevilgirl Apr 12, 2009  Student General Artist
thanks so much!
:heart:

also for the fave :)
Reply
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